It's a game of two halves

After hours of continually switching it on and off, my laptop eventually booted up on Sunday lunchtime.

And by 4.30, I was glad that it had. I had either traded or laid in running with 100% success. My profits per race weren’t big (I have cut my stakes when trading), ranging from 47p to £8. But I was still sitting there £60 for two hours’ “work”.

Then trouble struck. I have been receiving unsolicited email tips from a couple of websites for a few days. And they have been providing some good-priced winners – none of which I have backed. So I thought it was time I filled my boots and had £10 on a well-backed favourite. It finished nearer last than first.

For some reason, I decided that I had to chase that one loss – even though I was still £50 ahead. So I had £22 on the favourite in the next race, with the intention of laying it off in running for a profit of about a fiver. Unfortunately, it hit the first fence so hard that AP McCoy dropped his whip. The horse never recovered, the price shout out – and I was £22 down.

I turned the TV over and a race at Southwell was approaching the last couple of furlongs. I picked out a horse near the front that looked as if it was running on the spot, and laid it for a tenner at 4.75. It suddenly sprouted wings and won easily. And I had lost another £37.50.

To top it all, a bet on more than three goals in the Stoke v Spurs game lost. The match finished 2-1, with a missed penalty and the woodwork struck three times.
So after a couple of hours when I was seriously considering giving up work to lay three-legged donkeys full time, a crazy 20 minutes had cost me £90. And there was no one to blame but myself.

Running total: I think there are a few coppers down the back of the sofa

Foiled again

After weeks of heavy losses, just when my trading has taken a turn for the better, technology issues are now hampering me.

I made £50 laying horses in running (with a 100% success rate) on Friday night and was confident of a profitable afternoon on Saturday. Sure enough, I made about £30 in the first hour of racing. But then my laptop, which has been temperamental since the day I bought it eight months ago, crashed and refused to reboot.

Although I can access the internet with my old laptop, it is not quick enough for the split-second actions needed when trading.

So that was the end of my day. To make matters worse, Shrewsbury, who cost me £400 last weekend, returned to winning ways by beating Bournemouth 3-1.

Running total: fighting back

Vale of tears

I took a few days off last weekend to enjoy the delights of the North Yorkshire coast. As a result, I haven’t been near Betfair. I would probably be quite a lot better off financially, had I not succumbed to the temptations of the penny fall machines, to which I have been addicted for about 30 years.

To my embarrassment, I spent about 12 hours over the course of three days feeding 2p pieces into these machines. The result was a crippling backache, 12 replica mobile phones, four soft toys, various packets of sweets, a pocket book about Thunderbird 4 – and a £40 hole in my wallet.

My absence from the computer necessitated a rare visit to a bookmaker. A different medium, but the same result. I got six out of seven correct on my football bet. The match that cost me almost £400 in lost winnings was Shrewsbury v Port Vale. Shrewsbury had won their four home games this season 4-0, 1-0, 7-0 and 2-0 respectively. Port Vale had lost five consecutive games. A home banker, you would have thought. But Port Vale scored a last-minute winner to secure a 2-1 win.

Running total: I'm hanging on in there

A Dag-ger to the heart

Another near miss. My main football bet for the weekend was the following games to have more than two goals: Man City 2 Liverpool 3 (6/5); Charlton 2 Ipswich 1 (Evs); Carlisle 1 Tranmere 2 (5/6); Burton 2 Crawley 1 (4/5); Weymouth 3 Eastboune 2 (4/5); and Rochdale 0 Dagenham and Redbridge 2 (5/6).

I permed the selections in any five (£1.10) and all six (£7). My return was £28.75. But one more goal in the Rochdale match would have made it more than £900. Even more galling was that it was Dagenham's first away clean sheet of the season. And they hit the bar and had a shot cleared off the line.

It's only a matter of time. I'm just hoping that my betting bank holds out that long.

Running total: you should know the answer to this

Naughty - but nice

Friday night and Saturday were par for the course. Most of my trades were successful, but several losses wiped out all the profits and put me heavily into the red.

I can't be bothered to write - and I'm sure you can't be bothered to read - about the minutiae of my trades. It just seems that every time I lay a horse and it is involved in a photo finish, it wins. While every time a horse I have backed is in a photo, it loses.

Luckily, I won £72 backing a horse called St Trinians on Saturday evening. Otherwise, my losses would have been far greater than the £160 I suffered.

My financial health was not helped by Barcelona, who seem to delight in costing me money every weekend. I fancied 'more than two goals' in their match against Atletico Madrid. But I thought the price of 1.72 at kick-off was a little short. So I decided to have £30 on 'fewer than 2.5 goals' at 2.34 and then trade out (with the game goalless after about 10 minutes) for a guaranteed profit of about £4. Unfortunately, Barcelona scored three times in the first nine minutes. And that was that.

Running total: still waiting for that win

Here we go . . .

Sit down and brace yourself for a shock. I've had a win. Not a big one, obviously. But a win's a win.

It was all thanks to Reading's Kalifa Cisse who scored his side's third goal in the 88th minute in their 3-0 win at Wolves to ensure my 'over two goals' prediction was correct. The other legs of the £15 accumulator - Manchester United (won 3-0), Arsenal (won 4-0) and Ipswich (won 3-0) - were never in doubt.

So that's a £68 profit on the night. I'm tempted to put in all on Liverpool to beat PSV Eindhoven tonight. But I'll probably bottle it.

Running total: another couple of wins and I'll work it out